Wednesday 09 June 2021.
I decided that I was going to visit my parents, as by the weekend I expected to be poorly, I try to remain positive but I also know its going to happen, so I may as well prepare for the worst too.
I sat in the garden with Mom & Dad and it was beautiful, we drank tea, chatted about life, kids, decorating and I met the new additions to the family ( Dads Canaries) have had babies.. they are so cute.
I then left to pick up Pixie from the childminders and returned home to cook tea.
Thursday 10 June 2021.
Not much planned today, pottered around and watered my plants in the garden, as I've had time to plant a few flowers in the planters on my good days.
I also concentrated on making my first order for www.shadowboxflowerstore.co.uk a heart in blue, really pleased with the finished product and just awaiting the name to be added in Vinyl.
I have also started another project for a childminder, which I will show you as soon as I've finished.
Thursday night is also Filgristam injections night... to say I despise these injections, on every level... not knowing if its going to hurt, as Nurse Phil administers them, and then just how they make me feel too.
Friday 11th June 2021
I woke up this morning and felt like I was treading on eggshells awaiting for the inevitable to happen of feeling unwell!
Friday mornings are a bit more relaxed as Pixie doesn't go to the childminders, so we can leave the house a bit later than normal.
I returned home and tidied around the house, the normal, emptied the dishwasher, put washing on etc. and made myself tea and toast.
My taste buds have started to go too, my mouth starts to have cold sores and my tongue looks like a carpet! the joys.. you would think this would stop me eating, but it doesn't... but it does make me drink lots of water and this is a must for anyone that's going through chemo.. its a must for everyone really, just something I really haven't ever done, I would rather drink coffee, wine, gin.. you know how it is..
At 2.30pm I started to feel unwell, just in time for the school run, luckily Phil was on his way home and he drove and I just went for the journey to see my little princess out of school on a Friday afternoon before I knew I wouldn't be seeing a lot of her over the next few days, unless she visited my bedroom!
I returned home and went straight to bed and I remained there again over the weekend. I managed to pick up my phone a few times over the weekend and saw pictures on Instagram how people were in the garden in the beautiful weather, or in garden pubs... I so wanted to be doing that, but know my time will come too when I am well enough. I have so much partying to do when this is all over....
Wednesday 16th June2021.
Wednesday a week later is when I started to feel that I could get around and manage life!
my bones hurt and my joints hurt, especially my wrists ankles and knees, but I am coping!
Phil decided that when he returned home he was taking myself and the girls to Starbucks just down the road, so that we could sit outside and have a drink, and this was lovely as I am still shielding, so my health can not be compromised anywhere else really... it has to be outside!
Since then I have battled on day by day, and some days are a battle, I feel some days that I'm a 48 year old trapped in a 90 year old body. I cannot put the washing on the line without getting out of breath or even put the Vac round the house, if you had seen me clean the bathroom, well that was a mission in itself with the corner bath we have.. I felt like I just wanted to sit in the middle of it!!
I have noticed that my nails have started to turn black in parts and they hurt too, this is all normal part of chemo treatment.
In between these few weeks I have also been messaging a couple of friends of mine.
My friend from years back who supported me at such a critical time in my life, called not so long ago and advised me that my Instagram/blog had made her go to the doctors and check a lump out that she had, had over 12 months, but due to lockdown, kids... life etc hadn't been!!! I was so shocked to hear this news, more that she had had that lump for 12 months, but now had been inspired by my story to get checked out.
Unfortunately I had the message that she too has breast cancer and also ER Positive, which was heart breaking for me to hear. Thankfully she has now had surgery and will be rid of this awful disease, but there is a long journey ahead, starting with self care.. which is a must.
I also had another friend contact me, we met some years ago and she is one of the loveliest ladies I know, kind, caring just beautiful.. and I was devastated too when she messaged me to say she had an appointment at Burton Breast Unit, and a meeting with Mr Rogers, the same Consultant as myself.
I was reassured that she was in the best care and that they would look after her, and they did! My friend had the normal tests of a mammogram, biopsy and ultrasound scan, and awaited results which eventually came back on 14 June NEGATIVE!!.. (I actually cried when I read the text) with such a relief & my poor friend wrote that she felt guilty actually telling me.. Oh My God... did I tell her.. I wouldn't want anyone to go through this and I'm over joyed that its not happening to her.
I have noticed that people around me sometimes don't know how to be, and I know how strange it must be for them, worrying on what to talk to me about.
I've had friends that have come back into my life after years and it has been wonderful to see them, and broken friendships that have reached out to me too.... people that I don't really know that have contacted me through social media or my blog and offered support and shared their stories too.
Cancer has such an effect on everyone involved, and my advice is to anyone who has a friend that's going through anything like this.... is pick up the phone, contact them on social media... whichever way is easier, they will appreciate that contact.. I have loved every minute of seeing, speaking to everyone I've been in contact with, as COVID has isolated me so much through these past 6 months.
Saturday 19th June 2021
Saturday was a busy day. I had a few things to collect on Saturday from Hobby Craft and Asda.. well I say me, I mean Pixie. The drill is that I drive, Pixie runs in the shop with her phone and facetimes me when she's in there with what I need.
Now this isn't the best way of shopping... example.. sent Pixie in for white card to make my Dads Fathers Day gift.. (Shown Above) white card cost me £8!!!
Although in Asda she did manage to get a Picture Frame for £2.50.. later to discover it had marks all over it.. and it was too late when we noticed because Mom & Dad had arrived whilst we were out.
Mom and Dad stopped for a cuppa, and Phil & my Dad did the usual of demolishing a Manor House Cake.
Mom had bought me some lovely flowers and I gave Dad his Fathers Day Gift hoping he would like it..
Not long after they had gone, I had the surprise visit from my brother Ian, his my little brother but joke sometimes that his my big brother as he definitely has the genes from the Orton side being 6ft..something.
Honestly this made my day, like anyone in life, I don't think we get to see our loved ones enough, due to work and life just gets in the way sometimes, especially when you have children at home, so to see Ian, just uplifts me. I love you my brother, and thank you for your messages of support, you and Lucy. xx
I have to end with Fathers Day..
Sunday 20th June 2021
Pictures of the men in my life that I cherish.
My Dad on the left that keeps me smiling and laughing, he always manages to make me smile, always a story to tell with Les Ort!
Phils Dad, what a kind hearted man this man is, they absolutely broke the mould, after making him. Kind, considerate and always there if you need him.
Ben, you are an amazing Dad to Scarlett, I am so very proud of you, all you ever need is Love as a child, and she is showered with that from you.
Grandad Bob... You are/were missed so very much by Mom this Fathers Day, You are Always in our thoughts..
Father to my children, I hope you had the best Fathers Day, you deserved every minute.
We know you can't sit still and always have a hammer or drill in your hand... your always busy busy.. so one of your gifts was just ideal, and we know how much you loved it..
I want you to know your the best dad I could of ever wished for, for our children, you show pride in everything you do, your advice to the children, and the love and support you give them and the guidance through life, has made them who they are today, (with my help of course) haha..
I appreciate you every day and I don't tell you that enough... but thank you. I love you... Your the Best!