Sunday 21st March 2021 - Buzz Cut!!

Day 19 after Chemotherapy.

On Saturday morning it was very apparent that my hair needed to go over this weekend. I woke up and brushed my hair and to say my brush was full of hair is an understatement. I managed through the day to just tie it up out of the way and put a hat on to cover it up.

Sunday morning was a different matter, my hair was matted, it was dry and itched so bad, it bothered me all day, but wanting my family around me, I held out to the evening and then after tea, took the plunge.

Phil started with the back of my hair, on a number 3 grade, we had decided that we were cutting it at a number 3 and then would change once done, to a number 2 grade!!

Once Phil had completed the back, the girls took over to do the front, each one in turn.

Paris handed me the clippers as she insisted like other inspirational women that I should be the one that shaves off the first part of the front of my hair, this will be shown in a video that Paris is putting together for me.

We giggled and we cried, it was so emotional, the radio was playing and one of our favourite artists came on Jess Glynne, playing "don't be so hard on yourself", well that was just enough to set me off!

I cannot describe the heart ache and I must say, for every woman that has had to go or is going through this I admire your strength, its one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

Do I feel better?

The truth, Yes & No... I think like every woman that has to go through this, the emotional side of how you now look is so hard, but we know that the treatment we have is to prolong our life and that's what is important and we need to focus on that.

Everyone tells you " your hair will grow back" and yes we all know that, but the emotional side of losing your hair is one of the hardest battles I have had to face.

After completing the buzz cut, I went and had a shower, washed my hair that I have left, and looked in the mirror, its a new me.. looking back at me... one I have to get used to for the next few months.

I posted my pictures that the girls had taken and uploaded them onto Instagram, and the support has been amazing, your comments gave me strength, I had messages from people I know and don't know, and a voice message that bought tears to my eyes (Julie).

I am forever grateful for all your support whilst travelling this journey, one I never thought would happen to me, but this awful disease can happen to anyone of us, but its chose the wrong girl.. I will fight this every step of the way, with the support of my family and the friends I have made along the way.